The Heart Mongrel

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. No matter how much we wish, they were real.

Copyright © 2019 Allison Achibane

All rights reserved.

My feet struggled to find purchase, rounding the corner so quickly, a speed I was sure my body was never meant to meet. Hence, I was flailing my arms in a circle to keep my face off the pavement. Somehow managing to stay upright, I didn’t stop. My heart, legs, and lungs begged me to while my brain was still screaming, “HURRY UP!!!”

There was little other thought; speed, I needed more speed. Because my little human legs weren’t enough, but they had to be. I had to get away, get there. There was safe. I didn’t know where there was… yet. I’d know when I got there. With no one else around, the streets empty in an eerie, apocalyptic manner; this was not the place I needed to be.

Why couldn’t it be zombies? I had watched years’ worth of films and read ‘survival’ guides. Although terrifying, I felt far more prepared for zombies than this. I had a baseball bat and plenty of canned foods. Take off all my shoelaces (trip hazard, come on newbs) and I was good to go for at least a month.

But no! It had to be a giant, horrid monster tearing apart the city like a toddler throwing a tantrum. And I would know, my own toddler threw a tantrum when I left her and her brother in the ‘safe zone’.

Turning another corner, I had the beast in my sights, even though far away still. It was that large. In my peripheral, I saw the green of army men and machines. They were setting up for an attack, so my time was limited—even more than before.

With the element of surprise, I was able to fly over the barrier they had set and only tumble a little, keeping my forward projection. A few shouted; that was all they could do from the shock.

Because who would be crazy enough to run towards the monster?

The last thing I heard before the beast's growls covered up all other sounds was one particular soldier with a booming voice. “HEY, LADY! GET OUT OF THERE!!”

But it was too late, slowing my pace as the creature turned to me. Its long snout reminded me of a dog, while the drooling it did was like it was teething. I shuddered to think of the massive sharp teeth popping through its gums. The inky black skin sparkled like onyx in the waning sunlight, almost looking like it was on fire. The long talons on its hands matched the ones on its feet, both long enough to leave marks in the earth for a pretty nice pool (an in-ground pool that went to five feet deep)

Most importantly, its eyes, bright green and shimmery like a precious gem. And they were pointed right on me.

oOo

They didn’t get it. None of them understood. And how could they?

Sitting at the breakfast table, I watched my family go through their usual routine. Mom was trying to get Suzy (my two-year-old sister) to eat some oatmeal while Tony (my seven-year-old brother) munched on toast; both were getting the food all over them. In contrast, I sat silent and watched with my soggy cereal.

Mom was late for work (as usual) and dad had left years ago. She was making me the man of the house—what a joke. The last thing I ever wanted was the title of man over anything.

“Josh, are you ready to go?” Mom asked, looking at me briefly over her shoulder. Suzy dropped a wad of oatmeal on Mom’s skirt, and she swore under her breath. “Can’t I go outside once without food all over me?”

Suzy just giggled at Mom’s frustration. Toddlers were such jerks. “I’m ready, Mom.”

Looking back at me, it was like Mom had forgotten what she asked—but then frowned back at me. “Don’t sound so excited about it.”

“Who’s excited for High School?”

“I was!” Mom yelled a little.

I flopped to the back of my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. But it was already starting to beat funny from my anxiety. “Normal people are always happy about school.”

“You are normal.”

There was nothing I could say to that. This conversation, argument, yelling fest was old. And mom didn’t get it; she never even tried. Too busy with work and my normal siblings. I was everything but normal regardless of what my mother told me and others.

Wonder if she knew I heard the lies she told others? Parents, colleagues, friends? I heard it all; every late-night phone conversation when she thought I was asleep. The lies that rolled off her tongue at parent-teacher conferences. Even the lies she told herself in the mirror; I heard those too.

‘Everything is fine, everything is how it should be, my son is fine’ was just a lie.

My peers could see it, eyes following me as I walked down the halls. It was why no one talked to me, save for those who shoved me into trash cans or walls. People did strange things when they were afraid. That was my only solace; that they were afraid of me. It didn’t give me much, though; I was scared of myself.

Even the teachers looked my way and turned their noses up in disgust. I was pretty sure they all passed me, so they didn’t have to keep me. Everyone wanted me gone.

I wanted to be gone. I wanted to be far from this school, these people. Somewhere I could be completely alone, even from my family. I just wanted to be left alone.

However, you don’t always get what you want, my head getting shoved to the side and my body following right after. It still hit first, pain radiating all around my skull from the impact. At least they didn’t stop for a ‘chat’ this time, laughing as they continued their way to class. So I did the same, sitting in my seat and praying just to disappear. Or change into someone unrecognizable.

I’d give anything to be someone or something else.

oOo

There was little doubt in my mind that the military would wait, that they would care about the one civilian when there were thousands to consider. Being here with the large… thing wasn’t going to change their plans in the slightest. Neither I nor it was safe.

But someone essential to me was inside this creature, and I had to get him out.

I had lost the creature’s attention, going back to working its way to the other side of the city and wrecking things in its path. Waving my arms got it back, flicking large orange eyes in my direction. “I know you can hear me! I know you can understand me too. I’m begging you, give me back my son!!!”

oOo

Everyone was screaming. I didn’t understand; I was the one who should be. I was the one hit.

Another day another bully. It was the same as any other day. But this one hurt more than any other times before. All the way down to my bones. It was like they were cracking from the pain in my body. Or causing the pain, I wasn’t sure anymore.

The screams that pierced my brain weren’t helping. I wanted them to be quiet, all of them. I tried to get away! Away from happy kids who went about their everyday lives with ease. From judgmental eyes that came from adults and those my age as well. I was different; I got that. It wasn’t like I could do anything about it. And why should I? Just because I wasn’t like them didn’t mean I was wrong.

Maybe they were the ones wrong?

Maybe they were the ones that didn’t blend in with me?! Why was it that I was the one that needed to change? No, it was them. They needed to change, to accept. Not me.

The building was shaking, and pieces of it were falling around me. The screaming turned from random sounds to words. Not that it made any more sense than it had before. Because now everyone was screaming ‘Monster’ like an eighties horror film. I was somehow tossed into a Godzilla movie because everyone was running and screaming, falling over themselves and others just to get away. I couldn’t see what it was that had them all so scared. Everything had gotten so dark. And then black.

oOo

I didn’t know if it could understand me, its orange eyes turning beady as it glared at me. I was scared; there was no denying it. It would only be a lie to myself and to the creature before me, and I had done enough of that. “Josh’s father… he was just like you. Different. He never let it show, but I know it bothered him.” It tilted its head at me, confused. I could hear the question it didn’t ask in my head anyway. “I just wanted you to know that… I understand! I understand the struggle it can be to be… different.” It shook its head violently at that and threw a clawed fist into a building, crumbling it with one blow. “I do! I do, I swear, and…” my vision blurred, and tears flooded my cheeks, scorching hot against my skin that was frozen with fear, “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry, Josh! I wanted you to feel normal; I really did. No parent wants their child to feel anything like hate. And hate comes with fear. So I… I wanted you to feel normal, so I ignored it. I denied the truth, and I’m sorry. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you! I love you just the way you are, baby!”

The creature shrugged and turned away so I chased (as much as I could) after it. The ground shook with each step it took, knocking me off my feet but I got back up. Knocked down again, I struggle this time, rubble digging into my knees and making my palms bleed. There was no getting up from this, not anymore.

“Wait! Please! I know… I know you’re scared! I’m scared too!” It stopped but only for a moment. Then it continued to move away from me. “Josh stop!!” And it did. “I’ve known since you were born what you were, but I didn’t want you to be scared! So I was scared for you! I lied and denied; all so you wouldn’t have a day like this one. But I failed you….”

Josh spun, his claws taking up huge chunks of the ground with it and he got on his hands and knees to look me dead in the eyes. And roar.

It nearly lifted me off the ground and threw me back. But I held on, grabbing fistfuls of the broken pavement to keep from disappearing. Josh stilled and loomed over me, rage in his eyes that I put there.

“This isn’t the answer, Josh. I know you’re hurt but hurting others isn’t the way. And…” I choked on a sob but swallowed it quickly, “they’re going to kill you.”

He shrugged again, and my heart shattered. My baby didn’t care if he died. But I did, pushing to my feet and running. My fists were hitting his cheeks before I could stop myself. Not that I regretted it, I wanted to smack the sense into him.

“You’re a child! You have your whole life ahead of you! This isn’t how it ends for you, Josh. I won’t let it! I’ll protect you the way I always should have. I won’t let them have you. And you can growl, groan, scowl, hell even hit me, but I’ll never give up on you!”

I was shaking, feeling nothing but loss. I had lost. My child didn’t want to live; I had failed him.

My knees hit the ground again, hard. I didn’t feel any pain. I was numb. It wasn’t until arms wrapped around me (thin and shaking) that I felt anything. My boy, my beautiful boy, had returned to me. He was battered and beaten, but as I looked into his glowing orange eyes, I knew he was still the same child I gave birth to. He could change into any creature he chose, and I would still see him as my child.

He groaned as I held him tightly; I never wanted to let go of him again. Especially with the sound of boots on the broken ground, the military was approaching us fast. So I pulled Josh back to look him in his beautiful face again. “I won’t let them have you. You’re my baby. You are perfect just the way you are, and they can’t have you.”

“No more lying. Mom.”

I gave him a nod and held him to me as the gun surrounded us. I would keep my promises. No one would take Josh, and I wouldn’t lie anymore. Things weren’t alright, but as long as he was safe and happy, we would be satisfied. And that meant no more denying who he was.

Josh was different. But that didn’t make him lesser or a monster.